Empowerment Tuesdays

I am blessed with a boyfriend who empowers me to do the things im afraid of-and encourages me when I have opportunities presented to me. He has MY best interest in mind, even when he has his own reservations- allowing me to be the person I am, and supporting me while growing into the person I can be. I hope that for those of you who dont have significant others who are empowering and supportive- that you tell them to kick rocks. Soon.

Josh and I aren't perfect, and never will be, but no matter what- we don't hold each other back. I think the only things he would ever tell me "no" to are: becoming a stripper, or having an open relationship. Neither of which I'd ask for- even though everyone knows I have a wife, Khara. She and I are only married through clothing, shoes, (pretty much anything involving our closets) and terrorizing the dance floor.

This week has been an interesting one to say the least. I've packed up six boxes of garage sale/goodwill items (removing LOTS of clutter from our apartment), and packed up my first "South Carolina" box. I know it seems premature- but there are lots of things in our apartment that we don't have room for right now while sharing it with a third person. While we have six months - there is going to be a LOT going on! I'm going to be finishing up school, besides the 4th of July, Khara's birthday trip to the lake, then three weddings between September and October, our anniversary, along with planning a trip out there to find our house/apartment/van down by the river- AFTER THAT- holiday season starts - and six months is GONE.

I've been trying to stay off Zillow.com- but I can't help it, and I really need to! All it does is make me nervous that we won't find a place where we want, or for the price we want. Josh just continues to tell me it will all work out (it always does), and to stop worrying about it. We really do have to consider balance when we do get out there to look at some places though. There will come a time where a decision will have to be made between more space/more ammenities that we want, and location. As we are not a wealthy couple- and won't be when we get there- this is a legit balancing act. The pros of living downtown/near the water- are that we would save a lot of gas since we'd be able to walk/bike/bus- so maybe we can spend more on the place- and any place with vacancies in DECEMBER will hopefully be desperate enough that we can negotiate on price as it is anyways! This is what I'm hoping, so I really have to just cross my fingers, stay OFF of Zillow, focus on what I can control, and listen to Josh sometimes.

The things I can control are: working on getting us out of debt, packing, getting rid of clutter, and getting some things assembled for the decorating of the love bungalow ("shack" sounds like...box on the side of the road, NOT complimentary). Yesterday I was blessed with the opportunity to shoot with Mike Alredge (the guy I shot with last Saturday), Kathryn Ellis, and Travis Little, with assistance from Mike's wife. In conversation Saturday- Mike asked if I'd want to do a group shoot with some of my friends. Nude. Now, while I don't always love my body- I know that Josh does- and I thought it might be a great way for me to really accept my extra curves that I'm not really used to yet. Doing a nude shoot is very empowering- and is a great way to capture true beauty without the distraction or body alteration of clothing of any kind. Real bodies, real connection with the camera, the only thing we had to work with was light, each other and that camera lens. Let me tell you what, the experience (and photos) were nothing less than amazing. I believe actually that the word "amazing" is an understatement.

I'm going to have to do a separate entry about the entire process once I've had a few days to really reflect. It was truly an experience with these women (and artists)- and not just "pretty photos." It was classy, artistic, beautiful and empowering. I think that it ended up being more than any of us had any idea it would be. Mike went into it looking for that wonderful group shot for his blog and for the end of his shooting in black and white project, and I went into it wanting great photos of myself and some of my girlfriends to cover whatever ends up being "my space" in the bungalow.

I wanted photos that were really REAL of myself, and my friends- since we do so many costumes and make up (hello events like Snowpacalypse, and the Foreigner concert)- I thought doing something like this would be a great way for me to balance out all of those pictures from different events- immersed amongst the clothes and the way we use it all to camoflague who we really are. They are going to be AMAZING and I can't wait to get some of them in PRINT!

Josh of course had his reservations, but I reassured him it would be tasteful and beautiful- and he trusted that I knew what i was talking about. I'm so lucky that even when he's nervous- that he trusts me enough to make the right decision. :)

To top yesterday all off- Josh and I got to babysit Taelyn (Khara's littlest), and Rylan (Kara's only)- it was really fun working together to entertain the boo's, and do a little work around Khara's to help her out. I know she's really busy, and really overwhelmed lately- so I was wanting to suprise her with doing some extra cleaning, and running some dishes for her! Josh is so good with kids from the way he plays with them, to the way he disciplines. I think it's good for us to see the way the other would "parent," because I know that that's where a lot of couples fall flat or fall apart. Once we become parents, we won't be able to undo it- and we need to make sure that we agree on the style of child rearing. I have a feeling that if we do have children that they will be fashionable and fearless :) I'm pretty sure I fell more in love with him yesterday (which isn't REALLY different from most days) but it was definitely more yesterday.

Every day has it's ups and downs, but I think the "ups" won this week!

Ps- I got to have a cupcake for breakfast yesterday- another "win."

Saturday Morning Picture Taking

Photos by Mike Alredge from 20 Days of Grey

I had the wonderful, and fortunate experience to meet with Mike Alredge and his lovely wife Elizabeth for a little photography on Saturday morning. Mike is working on a wonderful project, 20 days in black and white- where as an artist, he is making a time investment into truly improving his skills in black and white by forcing himself to shoot every day for twenty days. The two of them let me in on this wonderful little journey with them- letting the mortals mingle with the gods.

Not only did I get to watch an artist be inspired by nature, movement, and composing each upcoming shot in his mind - I got to watch a very affectionate, loving, and inspiring couple work together, work off of each other. It was like being the fly on the wall in a wonderfully coordinated love scene. It's hard to describe, but the way that they talked to each other, it was a a feeling, it was fun- the way she suggested things for his shots, the way he called her pet names. Things that they probably don't even realize they do- so easy- so effortless. Unpretentious, easy going- but still with boundries of some kind (they are 9-5ers). So different from myself, but so easy to relate to. Again, it was hard to pinpoint it exactly.

With so many couples, marriages, and almost relationships around me being so toxic and so emotionally draining on so many that I love (or even those that I have met in recent days)- where they are letting themselves be stuck in something that makes life dark and uninspiring- watching these two who in 45 minutes time illustrated how light they make each others' lives, and how they work to inspire each other. It was refreshing, fun- easy conversation, easy shooting, and talks of future work with them (some with Josh- some with other friends - all of which I'm VERY excited about!).

I'm wanting to do a few shoots with Josh here in Indy before we leave for the coast. Having some of the wonderful artists here in the "hometown," capture the two of us in this beautiful city, so that we can plaster the living room walls will be a great way to take some of Indiana with us. Not only having real, organic works of art, as well as having pictures of myself, my lover, and the third to this threesome- Indianapolis- as the background- will be a dream come true. So many of these blosoming artists - or artists who have been shooting for years - are the perfect way to capture us- the "beginning" us, the "launching into a new time of our lives" us - is very exciting.

Josh gave me a scrapbook for my birthday (with a beautiful love letter tucked inside)- as well as making sure I had a cupcake, and a candle to blow out before we got on the road for TN. This is to be filled with all kinds of pictures of our adventures- the ones we've had- and the ones we look forward to. It is already half filled with pictures just from our trip to the aquarium in Gatlinburg. I see many more scrapbooks in our futures. I'm so excited that he wants to share his adventures with me, as well as documenting it all with photos with me. I love it!

That's really all for now.. besides that I keep checking Zillow.com every day watching the rentals get posted and rented. I am anxious for the day we can go and find our new home!

BTW- There are some really great projects coming up in my future... announcements coming soon. Fashion, romance, adventure... it's all coming your way (and mine!) :) :) <3

Biggest Art Project Ever

Finding a new residence and a job are two of the hardest things on the to-do list before the big move, and also the ones that have to be put on hold. We have been hunting for a house- I'm just over apartments (and the neighbors that come with them). If someone has their house up for rent now, they aren't going to want to wait six months for the new renter to move in, so we have to wait until fall- and it is so frustrating. I've been keeping my eye on zillow.com- I've got the app on my phone so every day I can pull up a whole list of rentals in the area- I see what is in our price range, what is included, where, etc...and our only chance of getting a house for the price we want a month is going to be by a stroke of luck. The RIGHT house, at exactly the right time, otherwise- we are going to have to settle for an apartment again and it's going to be another long year until we can get out of it! So today, I'm asking my lovely blog followers to send me some luck to find the perfect bungalow for my lover and I.

We have been able to decide how we are going to decorate...by not deciding on anything at all right now! We are going to go room by room every month and really spend time picking out special designs and decor for each one. We have lots of stuff from here (signage from fashion shows, pictures, paintings from friends, more pictures, flyers from events, ticket stubs...) that we are going to be incorporating into our new place, and want to mix it with special things from our new home as well. So we'll take the time to visit different shops as we start our exploration&education of our new city, adding things from boutiques, local artists and musicians, pictures we take there, pictures we take here. Never really going out in SEARCH of decor, but just in search of our new city and the people and culture in it. It will be like a REALLY big art project for me, and some fun time working together with my favorite partner- JShows :) We already have some local Indy art for our first room- including a fabulous hand painted card that my friend and sorority sister Susie had her grandmother do for my birthday. It's beautiful and was so thoughtful of her! I look forward to taking things from here, plastering them all over my new residence, and eventually showing them off to the new friends and acquaintences we make when we move.